


Bullets and beers

by TheBlazeCal



Series: Finished Taskpool stories [21]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Drunk!Tony, M/M, udon tony best tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 19:42:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9139453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlazeCal/pseuds/TheBlazeCal
Summary: So working together with Deadpool isn't always the most safest bet, he is unpredictable after all. He did try and make the situation a little less crappy though, so Tony shouldn't complain too much.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Well it's officially 2017 for this asshole here, so I figured I'd start the year off with one of my fav Taskpool fics I wrote at work this week.

**** “Gran imbécil! Why can't you ever stick to the plan!?” 

The hissed accusation was laced with something else, pain, since the playing around had caused a bunch of goons shooting, one hitting the man in the shoulder, no exit wound meant he would need to go through even more pain later. 

“I stuck to the plan last week, I was booooooored”

“I like to remind you only one of us has superhuman strength and a healing factor and it ain't me,  Cabrón. ”

“Ruuuude, even though I found this hiding place and got us some booze to numb your pain…”

“I wouldn't be in pain if you stuck to the plan.” 

“I can keep the beer if you don-”

The sound of a can being opened interrupted Wade's threat as Tony's mask got tossed aside so he could chug the beer down more easily, his balaclava leaving his mouth open while still hiding his face. 

“You still don't trust me?”

“I trust nothing and no one except for myself.”

“I thought we were partners…”

The second beer was opened as Tony scowled in silence before putting the can to his lips, inwardly cursing Wade for not bringing Vodka which could have been used to disinfect the bullet wound. 

Wade touched Tony’s left shoulder as he drank the beer, using a knife without warning to dig out the bullet making Tony hiss in pain the can of beer being crumpled as his hand clenched down on it. Wade however ignored the hiss as he put pressure on the shoulder digging out a clean mask from his pouch tearing of straps with his free hand twisting them together before pushing it in the wound to block the bleeding.

“You have horrible bedside manners...”

“Well I am not wearing my sexy nurse outfit.”

“Not drunk yet, please spare me the imagery.”

Wade “accidentally” shoved his shoulder at that, making Tony clench his jaw so hard it might break from the pressure as he turned his head to glare at Wade. The dark shadow over both their faces could lead to an all out brawl if it weren't for Tony’s reluctant toss of a beer at Wade.

“I don’t like all that preppy peppy stuff you do. Like the maid dress and sexy nurse outfits… what's wrong with a nice sober dress…”

“You are so-”

Wade’s words stopped abruptly as his eyes widened a little when Tony's words set in, before he opened his own can of beer watching Tony start his third. For once he wasn’t sure how to retort Tony, so drinking his beer slowly would have to do.

“I am so what, Pool?

“Unreadable…”

That drew a rare chuckle from Tony as he shrugged, wincing as the action involved the hurt shoulder making him get another surge of pain that guided his hand to the next beer. He knew he should stay sober, but he knew for a fact that Wade couldn't get drunk with his healing factor and he could drunk fight just fine if need be.

“It’s how I survive since I am nowhere near as fancy in the powers department.”

“It’s annoyiiiiiing” 

How Wade could get his cancer tormented voice to sound so high and whiny Tony never did manage to figure it out, but he could copy it perfectly as always so he smirked behind the can before swallowing down the last of his beer before reaching for the fourth can.

“You’re annoyiiiiiing” 

Tony smirked as he put the can between his legs using his unharmed arm to open the can before he picked it up again, eyeing the rest of the cans making a mental inventory. Meanwhile Wade grumbled about the fact that Tony shouldn’t copy him.

“I bet you’re real ugly under that mask and that’s why you won’t show me…”

“Could you lay off the unmasking Pool…”

“Tell me why you trust me at your back yet not to look in the face…” 

“I… well…”

Tony looked up meeting the white gauze covered eyes as he tried to think of a way to distract his company, but he could see even through the extremely expressive mask, Wade was serious right now, and his experience told him there was no way of throwing Wade of the subject apart from a small army attacking. Yet even that wasn’t a guarantee.

“Why are you so insistent on seeing what I look like?” 

“It’s proof you trust me fully, I know you never even showed Sandi…”

Tony sucked in a sharp breath as he stared back at his can of beer, lifting it to his mouth only to have Wade grab his arm stopping him from hiding behind the beer. Anyone else would have lost their arm at that, but he hadn’t wanted to hurt Wade in quite a while now. 

“... What makes you think I trust you fully?”

“Tony… you let me at your back… you sleep while I am holding watch…”

“Calculated risks…” 

“Don’t fuck with me on this, Masters…”

“On what would you like me to fuck with you?”

Tony blamed the beer for that retort, even though honestly he was barely tipsy, but the comeback question did manage to shock Wade into silence for a whole twenty seconds. This was a record of lack of response to a comeback of that much Tony was sure.

“Damn Tony, don't mess with me right now or I am leaving your injured ass here.”

“We both know you won't, you would go through hell and back for your friends, even if they are backstabbing assholes like me.”

“Then why don't you trust me?”

Tony looked at the hand that held his wrist tightly, a black glove with traces of drying blood on his grayish black leather protector between the white plated armored bits. Black on black, stained with blood, they were murderers, professional so and though neither of them felt remorse for what they do, they both knew they weren't good people.

“Do you think we deserve trust and peace of mind?”

Wade’s grip fell away allowing Tony to gulp down the rest of the beer, his fifth beer being grasped after he squashed the can and threw it aside. Wade slid down with his back against the moldy wooden wall of the stables they were using as a hideaway.

“Sure… we are killing bad people and getting paid for it, only difference with S.H.I.E.L.D is that we don't get paid by a corrupt government but by corrupt people…”

“It scares me when you make sense…”

“Don’t make me punch you in the shoulder…”

“What was your first kill?”

“While I was in the army, a soldier, his only crime was, that he wasn't on our side…”

Tony fumbled open the beer and took a big swig out of it, feeling the pleasant buzz fill him as he started feeling the alcohol a bit now, the pain was still there though, but Tony simply cared about it less now.

Wade was watching him intensely, waiting for him to answer his own question, suddenly Tony wished he had never asked. That he wasn’t so curious about Wade, because there was no dodging this bullet.

“My father… I beat him to death.”

“You look like him?”

He tensed as Wade saw right through him, why he staid masked the entire time, often even while sleeping even when he was doing basic hygiene. Most people assumed he was paranoid, that wasn’t wrong, but it was  _ not _ the only reason.

“Maybe…”

The can perished and a next one followed instantly as he decided he might as well get all the way drunk at this point maybe it would allow him some sleep deep enough to not be hindered by his shoulder.

“Show me.”

“Fine, but if I ever find out you so-”

Tony was silenced by Wade pulling him closer, making his shoulder throb as Wade held Tony against his chest in a calm manner, making Tony nervous before he sighed in defeat.

“You can take it off before I change my mind.”

“You are not saying it because you are drunk right?”

“Wilson!”

The mask rose of his head slowly, further bearing his stubble covered defined jawline. Then his nose, which was straight even though it had been broken a few times, but he always set it right away, lastly it was gone, revealing his sharp defined eyes with a scar running over his right eye, thin and fading, but still visible in his tan skin. 

“You have been holding out on the world here Tasky, you are a looker…”

Tony groaned at that opening his glowing yellow eyes to glare at Wade, who had lifted his mask till his nose uncovering his own scarred jawline,  making Tony divert his gaze as he finished his beer.

A fresh can was opened and given to him, but only after Wade had a gulp of it himself, licking his bumpy lips before he let out a longing sigh. Tony understood without further words, Wade wished he could still get drunk, which was normal, anyone with half a brain would want to get blackout drunk now and then in their line of work.

“What is your retirement plan?”

“Why would the Deadpool retire? I am not going to grow old anytime soon, I will see your great-grandchildren grow up…”

“I thought my life was lonely…”

“You Tasky, you can swim in money what's your plan?”

“The moment my body starts getting out of shape medically, I will disappear to one of the island homes I own, live a life of luxury till I go out, benefit of being faceless Wilson, I am able to disappear.”

Tony felt Wade pull him closer as Wade started talking about trips he dreamt of taking, things he hoped to do if he ever did quit. The beers all getting drained by Tony, who found himself snuggling against Wade’s warm chest, as he listened to his heartbeat and breathing in a relaxed manner.

“Go sleep Tony, I am sure you trust me to keep watch.”

“I trust you with my life Wilson.” 

“Sleep skull face”

“Shut up pizza face”

Wade’s fingers rubbed Tony’s back as he dozed off like that, his head in a pleasant daze as he laid close to the first person in a long time he felt safe around.


End file.
